Today.. I had a nosebleed

Was it summer vacation in 2nd grade?
Every weekend I biked from Gajang-dong in Daejeon to the Munhwa-dong library in Daejeon,
9 to 9 — and one day I got a nosebleed.
I remember feeling a little... proud, by myself.

Decades later,
even though it wasn't my company.. even though I had nothing..
volunteering to swallow all kinds of side-eye,
determined to create the new business team no matter what,
commuting Sejong - Seoul on intercity transport,
last summer my nose bled again.
I think I thought I was a bit.. pleased with myself, alone.

And then a year later, at that very company,
one day — one morning without any prior notice,
without a single word of greeting from the CEO, I was let go by the management team.
About 100 days after that, today.. I had another nosebleed.
This time, alone, I actually felt.. afraid.

The three nosebleeds I remember so distinctly,
only I know about them.

On one day I was proud, on another satisfied..
Sometimes.. it's also scary.

As for the fear.. I hope it stays very, very occasional..