When there is little sand left in the hourglass, quickly giving up on things that are not working for you helps you overcome fear. On my 40th birthday, I made a list of everything I was not good at, everything I did not like, and everything that I might someday do but realistically had no real chance of doing. Accepting all of this, my anxiety about expectations that would never be met vanished, and I felt an enormous sense of liberation. (p. 229) |
| From Arianna Huffington, trans. Lee Hyunju, "On Becoming Fearless... I Am Free — Huffington Post founder Arianna Huffington's wise and courageous counsel for women on living a bold life" (Haenaem) |
Arianna Huffington, founder of America's Huffington Post. On her 40th birthday, she made a "throw-away list." Things she wasn't actually good at and didn't even enjoy, but which felt like a "burden" because she thought she ought to do them someday... Skiing was on her list. Huffington was not good at skiing, and she did not like it enough to put in the time to improve. She just wanted to enjoy it because her friends liked it. She says that on her 40th birthday, once she admitted to herself that she really didn't want to, she felt truly at ease. All of us carry around things that feel like "homework" in our heads. They are on our "to-do" list for one reason or another, but when you actually weigh those reasons carefully, many of them are unnecessary. If there are things sitting on that list for unreasonable reasons, making you uncomfortable and anxious, you need to clear them out and simplify, just like Huffington did. What you empty out leaves room to fill in with more important things.
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