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Renewal·문장 발효 과학

How to Get What You Want

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Imagine what the other person will feel (emotionally and mentally).


Even if it feels unfair, respect the other person’s standards.

You must respect the other person’s standards before your own.


Even if they break a promise, rather than getting angry about it, 

just clearly point out the fact.


Understand that, to the same extent as your own dissatisfaction, the other person hurts too.

Be seen not as someone who creates problems, but as someone who can solve them.


Picture in your head what the other person is thinking (feeling).

Keep them from feeling anxious, isolated, or lonely.

Let them feel that you are thoroughly empathizing with their thoughts (emotions).


In other words, not a threat (“If you don’t do A, I’ll do B”),

but focused on achieving the original goal. 

Recognize that the point is not to defeat the other person.


In short, if you can’t achieve what you want through negotiation,

you ultimately can’t move anything forward.


Negotiate while considering which of the things you can offer the other person would actually want.

First, you must understand the other person’s thoughts (feelings) and grant what they want — 

only then can negotiation truly begin.


This English version was translated by Claude.

친절한 찰쓰씨
Written by
친절한 찰쓰씨

Pleasant Charles — UI/UX researcher at AIT. Keeping notes on design, planning, and slow days here since 2010.

More on the author's page

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