#01. The one who recognizes a problem
Sometimes, I run into exhausting, pointless problem-raising.
Every time, it's framed as "I'm only saying this for your (everyone's) sake," but
this kind of complaint usually just degrades the individual, organization, or relationship into breeding more conflict.
This kind of irresponsible, splatter-like problem-raising - in most cases -
comes from someone who finds something uncomfortable but
is unwilling to spend serious time thinking about a solution,
or to carry the burden of it themselves.
If it stinks, clean it up yourself or leave the place.
Don't order others to clean up your mess, and don't mutter about it on your own.
#02 The one who splits the problem up
Before handling "wait, that's not right, is it?" directly with the person involved,
some people rally others - the person's peers - as if spreading the smell of a fart, conspiring to make it a public issue. This kind of behavior, and its trigger, usually spreads while "they themselves are intoxicated with their own sense of justice and sacrifice," butin fact,
as they age and accumulate more career experience,
without even realizing it,
their thinking leaves a deep groove - a kind of judgment habit, I suspect.
As the word "irresponsible" implies, "irresponsible problem-raising" may have been sincere at first, but because of its irresponsibility and avoidance,
it quickly degrades. It gets handled at the level of spreading tales and gossip.
Because there's no seriousness about actually solving the problem, or willingness to take it on voluntarily,
it becomes less about justice and more about scratching an itch; sometimes the person can't even tell whether it's raining or not.
In such situations, problem-raising usually takes an external-protocol form like backbiting, rather than going through the main channel.
If the person who interprets "not eating together" as "being ignored"
is a manager rather than an associate, or a director rather than a manager,
and if the backdrop of that feeling is...
