Explanation and excuse are different. An excuse sounds logical but is not the real reason. An explanation includes your own choice and control in response to the other party's request. "Yes, as you say, if we look at the company's current finances, we could pay every employee a year-end bonus of 50 percent of their annual salary for the next three years. But the company plans to invest that surplus into entering a new business. We thought that would be the wiser choice for all our futures." How does hearing this explanation feel? Doesn't it feel less like evading responsibility for a decision and more like a reasonable refusal? (p. 380) |
| From Diana Booher, trans. Jung Jihyun, "The Relative and Absolute Dictionary of Conversation" (Tornado) |
"Refusing" is never easy for anyone. No matter how justified the reason or how unavoidable the situation, refusing puts a "burden" on the mind. That is why we sometimes get dragged into things we do not want and later regret it, or refuse clumsily and suffer afterwards. The author offers two pieces of advice about refusing. First, do not make excuses — give explanations. No matter how logically you construct it, "making an excuse" is not a good idea. The author also says that while it is good to give an explanation when refusing, not every case requires one. "People have every right to ask you anything, and you have every right to refuse without any explanation." Take a look at the examples the author offers. "I'm sorry I can't explain the reason, but my answer is no." "Normally I'd happily help you, but the timing is bad right now. I really feel sorry about it, too." "I'm sorry I can't be of help." "After thinking about it seriously, I've decided not to participate. But I sincerely wish you well." When refusing, give an explanation, not an excuse; and you do not always need a reason to refuse... That is the author's "way of refusing." ▶ Yeh Byung-il's Economic Notes - Twitter: @yehbyungil / Facebook: www.facebook.com/yehbyungil
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